The Ultimate Priority
We live in a culture that has gotten into the habit of trying to prioritize everything.
But at some point doesn’t that mean we’re just doing more stuff and not prioritizing anything?
We have never-ending “to do” lists, we feel pressured to “do it all,” and there are never enough hours in the day to accomplish everything we feel we should be able to do.
But all of us have the same 24 hours in the day - so why do some people seem to have it all and not get burned out?
They have the ability to prioritize what’s important and draw a line in the sand that prevents anything else from getting in the way of that.
Dr. Andrew Huberman who is an American neuroscientist and tenured professor in the Department of Neurobiology at the Stanford University School of Medicine says that people whom he considers to be the true high achievers in the world aren’t the people who work all the time and “do whatever it takes.”
Those people, he says, eventually get burned out and desperately seek the soulful experience that they’ve been missing.
The true high achievers of the world are the people who set boundaries around their work and make time with the people they care about just as much of a priority.
Because the ultimate priority is that which gives you life.
And what gives human beings the most life is not just the satisfaction that comes from achieving a goal, it’s the pleasure we get from connecting with the people we care about.
Dr. Huberman explains that there is a very real biological reason for this. As humans, we seek the release of both dopamine and serotonin, chemical messengers that reward us with positive feelings.
When we achieve goals, we get a dopamine hit, and it motivates us to keep going by making us feel good when we take steps to reach a goal. It’s why some people get addicted to work and productivity.
When we spend time connecting with people we care about, cultivating our relationships and sharing experiences, we get a serotonin hit. This is why you feel “warm and fuzzy” feelings when you’re sharing special moments with your kids, your partner or your best friends.
The most important thing is we need both dopamine and serotonin to be happy and fulfilled.
While a lot of us get caught in a loop of chasing neurological “hits” of these chemicals from being busy, eating processed foods, taking on extra work, or looking for love in all the wrong places, Dr. Huberman says that high achievers have the ability toggle seamlessly back and forth between the two in a healthy, nourishing way.
For example, the Fortune 500 CEO who gets up at 5am and reserves the first two hours of her day for exercise, meditation and personal development.
Who is strategic about her workday, focusing on the most important task of the day to move the company vision forward, and blocking out anything that distracts from that objective.
And who at 6pm every night, turns off her phone, relaxes and enjoys quality time with her family.
By having her priorities straight, she takes herself off of the hamster wheel and sets herself up for what I call full-spectrum life success.
Having goals, being productive and taking pride in her work. And simultaneously creating downtime that makes her feel nourished, connected and loved.
The ultimate priority is that which gives you life.
All of us need to realize that our relationships MUST BE a priority - not just with our family and our friends, but the relationship with ourselves, too.
Not only do healthy relationships fill up our tank with love, joy and fulfillment - they serve a deep biological need inside of us that we need to live.
And if we ignore this need long enough there is only one outcome - inevitable burn-out and being forced to look within and change our ways.
So I encourage you to look at your priorities and notice where you’re taking on too much “stuff”- and unintentionally allowing your relationships and well-being to go on the back burner and suffer for it.
Decide what is most valuable to you and make those top-tier priorities. Balance your energy between your most life-giving relationships and your most fulfilling work.
Everything else can be delegated, rearranged, reduced or dissolved.
You are in charge of your 24 hours - why not make it a life that you love living?
By getting clear about your actual priorities and implementing the personal boundaries that safeguard them, you can have full-spectrum life success.
So I encourage you to make love, connection and well-being a REAL priority, and watch EVERY area of your life improve.
If you’re like me, you’ll only wish you would have done it sooner!