The Most Surprising Thing About Forgiveness
You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.
Jan Glidewell
Forgiveness is often talked about, but just as often misunderstood.
We often think of forgiveness as something noble, a mercy that we bestow on another person to pardon them for a past wrongdoing.
Our logical mind might tell us we should forgive someone so we can let go, or be the bigger person.
But our emotions may take over and start shouting, “Why should I be the bigger person? They’re the ones that hurt me! I didn’t do anything wrong. Why should they walk away with no consequences? Maybe they deserve to feel bad.”
But this is the wrong conversation. That is not what forgiveness is.
We have no power over other people.
We don’t punish them with our resentment or pardon them with a declaration of forgiveness.
No matter how we feel, we aren’t in control of anyone else’s experience.
Forgiveness is solely a personal journey.
It’s about freeing ourselves from the prison of anger, hurt, betrayal, bitterness, resentment, pain, embarrassment and shame.
You can think of forgiveness as shifting from one perspective that feels constrictive into a different, more empowered perspective.
One that serves you, rather than trapping you in pain. When I learned that in my own life, I found it totally liberating.
As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.
Nelson Mandela
When we harbor emotions about another person, situation or circumstance, we lock those emotions in place, live in them and exist on that frequency.
By releasing it from our grip, we free ourselves from that vibrational state and allow ourselves to rise above it.
Forgiveness only benefits you.
When Nelson Mandela left prison, he couldn’t be in the frequency of hatred and anger and rise to become president of South Africa as he later did.
He had to forgive the situation and take on a new perspective so he could move beyond it and become far greater than what anyone could have expected of him.
No matter what you have experienced, you deserve better. You are better.
And you don’t receive what you deserve by repeating and repeating thoughts and emotions of what was, you receive better by leaving it behind in peace.
Give yourself the gift of forgiveness and turn your attention toward all of the possibilities and blessings that are here for you.
We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
Joseph Campbell
When you do that, you become available to love, joy and connection. By letting go of a burden, you can let your guard down, focus on the people who matter and truly be present for them.
And you’ll have more room for love where there was once pain.
Forgiveness is the path to freedom through love. Loving yourself enough to set yourself free, and then letting other people love and support you as you deserve to be loved.
The power to forgive is yours, and is one perspective away from where you are now.