3 Dream Killers! (and what to do about them!)
Awareness is the greatest agent for change.
Eckhart Tolle
When it seems like everyone is busy talking about “starting fresh” and setting goals in the new year, it can be easy to feel a little lost or overwhelmed with plans and to-do lists.
But the most powerful tool you have coming into 2022 is your awareness.
When you understand the power of your awareness, you know how change occurs. From there, you can create anything.
In order to start using your awareness, the first thing to note is, you are not your thoughts.
Notice as you’re thinking thoughts right now, you’re aware of the thoughts. That means you aren’t the thought, you’re the observer.
Therefore, you have the power to direct your attention and you have the choice to decide what to give your attention to.
You can choose to give attention to thoughts that serve you, instead of replaying old thoughts that aren’t serving you, over and over again.
Because your collective thoughts over your lifetime have established in you a belief system or operating system, that we can refer to as your “paradigm." It’s the lens through which you view yourself and the world.
And those paradigms determine your current thoughts, feelings, actions, habits, level of success, quality of relationships, etc.
If you want to know what paradigm you’re operating from, just look at your life right now. That tells the whole story.
If there are some areas of life you’re not in love with, it’s completely normal.
And the good news is, when we have paradigms that are limiting or contradict what it is we really want in life, we can change them.
How to Shift a Paradigm That Doesn’t Serve You
#1 Know the 3 D’s
The tricky part about creating change is, our human system likes homeostasis. It wants things to stay consistent. So change is viewed as a threat to the system.
This was useful when humans were just trying to survive environmental dangers, but it’s completely self-defeating when you’re beyond just surviving and trying to achieve a new goal or dream.
As soon as you set out to do something new, your subconscious mind pings thoughts, ideas and interruptions into your brain to talk you out of it. It’s very seductive!
Here’s a breakdown of how your paradigms will try to seduce you into keeping things as they are:
Distraction Paradigms
Let’s say part of your vision is to write a book. But when it’s time to sit down and write, you hear the dryer buzz and think, “I should really fold the clothes right now.” Or your kids want to be picked up from their friends house, or you “would feel so much better” if you just cleaned up your email inbox first.
If you notice yourself putting your goals or dreams on the back burner, because you’re too busy, it’s time to look at how distraction may be keeping you stuck.
Dissuasion Paradigms
Dissuasion refers to thoughts that talk you out of change. And the closer you get to making changes, the more aggressive the thoughts will get.
They might sound like, “You don’t really want to own rental properties. It’s just more things to manage.” or “How are you going to start that travel blog? You barely have time for your family as it is.” or “You’re going to run a marathon? Good luck with that. You’ve been out of shape your whole life.“
Sounds crazy, right? But our subconscious mind knows what we fear, and triggers those fears of not being good enough, being judged, disappointing people, embarrassing ourselves, etc. to stop us from trying anything new.
Delay Paradigms
Delay is the trickiest of all. It makes us feel good about ourselves for planning to do something in the future, without ever actually having to do it.
For example, if someone wants to find love after many years of not dating, they might say to themself: “I’ll start dating when I lose 20 pounds because then I’ll feel more attractive in my clothes and I’ll have more confidence.” or “I’ll just wait until after winter because no one wants to go out in the snow” or “I’m going to wait to put up an online dating profile until my daughter’s in town because she can help me.”
This all sounds logical, reasonable and practical, right? That’s why delay is such a dream killer. The truth is, tomorrow is never guaranteed. The only time we have to transform and live our best life is now.
#2 Take Control with the 3 R’s
Recognize
In order to break free from distraction, dissuasion and delay, you first have to notice when they’re happening. Pay really close attention to when you set out to do something in alignment with your vision and don’t follow through.
At the moment it’s happening, ask yourself, “Am I distracted? Am I talking myself out of it? Am I telling myself I’m going to do it ‘later’?”
Refresh
Refresh your nervous system to interrupt the feeling. Take some deep breaths and let yourself feel relaxed.
When we’re experiencing distraction, delay or dissuasion, they tend to make us feel stressed, anxious or fearful - even at a subtle level. By refreshing your system, you take yourself out of the old pattern of thinking and feeling that has been your set-point, or comfort zone up until now.
Repattern
Now you have a blank slate to install a new thought pattern. We want to be thinking thoughts that match the dream, and that feel expansive and enlivening to our system. It should feel GOOD.
For example, instead of thinking, “I really should go to the store before they close, I can call my new contact tomorrow” you can think “I’m so grateful that Barbara connected me with such a great prospect. Networking is helping me live my dream and I’m looking forward to a great conversation.”
Okay - we covered A LOT of information - I know! But hopefully you can see how your paradigms may have been a factor in areas of your life where you're not getting the results you thought you’d have by now.
If you would love some help when it comes to paradigms, I would love to be of service. Book a complimentary Vision Breakthrough Session with me here.
Not only will we look at how the 3 D’s might be sneaking up on you, I’ll help you gain clarity on your 2022 vision and give you a plan of action moving forward.