Creating A Support System For Your Success
"Anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you."
Misty Copeland
(first African American female promoted to principal dancer with the American Ballet Theatre in it's 75-year history)
Do you have a tendency to try and do everything yourself? And even though you know you should probably ask for help, that’s just not in your wheelhouse?
I totally get it! It’s that “Lone Ranger Syndrome” and many of us get so used to operating that way it can feel totally foreign to approach things any other way.
So today I want to help you take a look at what support actually is, how it works, and how you can begin to incorporate it into your life in ways that feel really good.
The truth is, there is a limit to what we can create alone. And when we resist support, over time, we are almost guaranteed to burn out. Then we are forced to get support, when it would have been a lot easier to just accept it from the get-go!
When you look at the most successful people in the world - people who live on purpose, love-filled, abundant and satisfied lives - 100% of the time they have a support system. It's what allows them to stay center-stream to their talent, creativity, and success.
Former Google CEO Eric Schmidt said the best advice he ever got was to hire an executive coach, and now says “everyone needs a coach.” Oprah hired life coach Martha Beck, and expanded her success through their work together. Serena Williams worked with a coach to get her mindset on track after a string of injuries, and soon after won the Grand Slam in tennis.
Having support matters because we need others to believe in us when we have a hard time believing in ourselves. In her book Growing Young: How Friendship, Optimism, and Kindness Can Help You Live to 100, science writer Martha Zaraska shares a study that showed over a 7 year period, people with healthy, supportive relationships were actually 45% less likely to die. That’s significant.
But support comes in many forms, and we can check in with ourselves to see if we’re getting all of the types of support we really need. Literary editor Dr. Lucy Bland suggests that there are four types of support we need for success:
Support from the top: a mentor or coach who can guide us using the knowledge and experience they have in creating the results that we want.
Support from the bottom: an assistant, administrator or support staff that can help you stay organized and efficient so you can focus your energy on the bigger picture.
Sideways support: Collaborating with or hiring other professionals or people such as web designers if you’re an entrepreneur, or other parents if your goal is starting a mom’s group.
Nurture huddle: these are the people who are our friends and confidants, who will hug us and tell us everything will be ok, who will be our cheerleader and provide emotional support without judgement.
You can begin to create your own support system by connecting with your church or synagogue, seeking out online groups, using HR resources at your company, or hiring a coach or mentor.
Joining peer-led groups, hiring support staff, and streamlining your business with professional services are all excellent ways to reduce the burden of responsibility and stress.
But when it comes to knowing how to overcome mental obstacles and create permanent new results in your life, working with a coach or mentor - support from the top - is the only way.
Hiring a coach was something I was really resistant to (Lone Ranger over here!) but it was the support I needed to take bold steps forward in my life, find the fulfillment I was longing for, and overcome setbacks and self-sabotage that would have stopped me if I didn't have support.
The reason it was so effective is that it got me out of my own head and my own patterns, and taught me to think in new ways. I learned tools and strategies that showed me how to welcome new ideas, take new bold action, and create new results in my life.
Today, my greatest joy and passion is being a coach and supporting my client’s transformation in the same way my coaches have (and continue to support!) mine.
If you’re curious about what coaching could do for your life, I would love to offer you a complimentary session where we’ll speak about your vision and what could be possible for you moving forward. Schedule here.